The back-to-school season is a whirlwind for every parent. One minute, you’re enjoying a last-minute trip to the Jersey Shore, and the next, your calendar is an explosion of supply lists, school forms, and carpool schedules. For parents already navigating anxiety or depression, this sudden, overwhelming shift can feel less like a fresh start and more like an emotional avalanche. The “back-to-school mental load” is a real thing, and it can significantly worsen symptoms of anxiety and depression.
At Serenity at Summit New Jersey in Union, we know that taking care of your children starts with taking care of yourself. As a local resource for parents in the Union, Newark, and greater North Jersey area, we’ve put together seven practical tips to help you manage this transition with greater resilience and compassion for yourself.
1. Prioritize Your Own Back-to-School Routine
You’d never send your kids to school without a new, consistent routine, so why would you start the season without one for yourself? Getting a predictable, healthy routine in place before school starts can be a powerful antidote to anxiety. Having a sense of control over your own day provides a stable anchor when everything else feels chaotic.
How This Might Look: Instead of scrambling every morning, start waking up 15-30 minutes before your kids. Use that time to sit with a cup of coffee, journal for five minutes, or just enjoy the quiet. When the first day of school hits, you’ll already have a little pocket of peace built into your schedule.
2. Master the Art of a “Soft Start”
Don’t jump from summer’s relaxed pace straight into the chaos of a full school schedule. Give yourself and your family a “soft start.” This means practicing the new routine a week or two before school actually begins. A gradual transition can significantly reduce the sudden stress that comes with the first day.
How This Might Look: A week before school, do a “dress rehearsal.” Have the kids wake up at the new time, get dressed, and even sit down to eat breakfast at the new schedule. This helps everyone, especially you, identify potential friction points—like a forgotten lunchbox or a last-minute scramble for shoes—before the pressure is on.
3. Communicate and Delegate the Mental Load
The back-to-school mental load can feel overwhelming because it often falls disproportionately on one person. You are not an island, and you cannot do it all. Don’t be afraid to communicate your needs and delegate tasks. Sharing the load is a powerful antidote to burnout and resentment.
How This Might Look: Gather the family for a quick “back-to-school huddle.”
- To your partner: “I’ll handle the school supply shopping if you can be in charge of the afternoon carpool and packing lunches.”
- To your older children: “You’re responsible for laying out your clothes the night before and making sure your backpack is by the door.” This simple act of distributing responsibilities can free up significant mental space.
4. Re-establish Your Boundaries
During the summer, boundaries can become a bit blurry. The back-to-school season is the perfect time to re-establish them for both yourself and your family. Clear boundaries reduce conflict and give you the mental space you need to manage your own anxiety or depression.
How This Might Look: If you’ve been working from home and your kids have been around, it’s time to set new ground rules. You might say, “When I’m in my office with the door closed, that’s my quiet time to work. After 4 p.m. is our time to be together.” Or, “Let’s all put our phones away during dinner so we can connect without distractions.”
5. Schedule Your “Me Time” (and Don’t Feel Guilty About It)
Your mental health is a priority, not a luxury. During the back-to-school madness, it’s even more important to schedule dedicated time for yourself—and then stick to it. This isn’t just about watching a show; it’s about doing something that genuinely helps you de-stress.
How This Might Look: Block out an hour on your calendar each week just for you. Maybe it’s a quiet walk in a local park in Union, a coffee with a friend, or an hour dedicated to a favorite hobby. Treat this time as a non-negotiable appointment. The guilt you might feel is a common symptom of depression and anxiety, so intentionally choosing to invest in yourself is a powerful act of self-care.
6. Get Your Body Moving
Physical activity is a powerful tool for managing both anxiety and depression. It can help regulate your nervous system, reduce stress, and improve your mood. You don’t have to join a gym.
How This Might Look: A simple 20-minute walk around your neighborhood in the evening can make a world of difference. Or maybe you can find a yoga video on YouTube to do a quick stretching session in your living room before the kids wake up. Consistency is more important than intensity. The key is to find something you can commit to regularly.
7. Connect with Your Support System
You are not alone in this. Reach out to other parents in your community, connect with your friends, or seek professional support. Sharing your feelings with others who understand what you’re going through can reduce the sense of isolation that often accompanies anxiety and depression.
How This Might Look: Instead of just asking, “How’s your day?”, ask another parent, “How are you really handling the back-to-school craziness?” This opens the door for an honest conversation. Join a local online parent group or schedule a quick phone call with a friend who understands the struggle. You’d be surprised at how much relief comes from just knowing you’re not the only one.
When to Seek Professional Help
While these tips can help you navigate the transition, it’s important to know when your struggles are more than just a passing phase. If your anxiety or depression symptoms are persistent, overwhelming, and interfering with your ability to function—your work, your relationships, and your ability to care for yourself—it may be time to seek professional support. This is a sign of strength, not weakness.
At Serenity at Summit New Jersey, we are a local resource for individuals and families in Union, NJ. We offer comprehensive, evidence-based treatment for depression and anxiety, including specialized Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOP) with evening sessions that are perfect for parents with busy schedules.
Our dual diagnosis expertise also ensures that if your anxiety or depression is co-occurring with substance use or other mental health conditions, we can treat them simultaneously for holistic healing.
This back-to-school season, put your own well-being on the to-do list. Contact Serenity at Summit New Jersey today for a confidential assessment.
